“I am a Christian, and I don’t have it all together.”

Confession time.

I am a Christian, and I don’t have it all together.

Whew. There. I said it. I know and love Jesus Christ, but I still mess up. Daily. I don’t always treat people the way I should. Things come out of my mouth that probably shouldn’t. I sometimes judge people and the things they do. I feel sad sometimes. I get angry, depressed, and can be down right bratty. I get angry at God when things don’t go my way.messed up

I am broken.

Sometimes I think there is a misconception that Christians have to be perfect. Although Romans 3:23 states: “We ALL have sin and fall short of the glory of God,”  we get it into our heads that people that know Jesus should never struggle with sin. We have to hide the fact we are human.

You see it all the time. People put on their Sunday best, and with shiny, smiling faces they sit up strait in church pretending everything is fine. Yet inside they are falling apart. They serve on church councils, get their children confirmed, and can recite biblical passages in perfect monotones. They plaster on smiles at church and talk to people on a surface level, making sure to keep everything together. Meanwhile, at home they are having marital problems, their son is getting in trouble at school, and they can’t stand a single person on the church council. And they have nobody to talk to about it.


What if I told you not only does God already know about that stuff,  He WANTS that stuff. That is the kind of stuff that built the cross.

When I first got to know Jesus Christ, I was drinking a liter of vodka a day. I lied all the time. I was nasty to everyone I knew. I use to come and sit in our church sanctuary drunk and stare at the wooden cross in the corner. I didn’t know why I was there, I didn’t even know what I believed.  I didn’t think I was “good” enough for God. My life was one huge disaster with no faith, no hope, and seemingly no way out.

And guess what? Jesus didn’t care.

He still wanted me. I didn’t know Him yet, but He knew me. And He was well aware of the fact that I was NOT perfect and I never would be. But He still loved me, and He still forgave me. In fact, He changed my whole life. When I have struggles, I finally have somewhere to turn that isn’t a bottle. I am still not perfect. But I now know forgiveness. I know comfort. I know what grace is. I know where to go with my junk.
dear god

You will still find me at church on Sundays dressed better than I normally dress at home. (I am a sweat pants sort of gal.) Sometimes I am smiling and singing my heart out to the Lord. But other times, I am crying. I am distraught, angry, or confused. I come in dragging all my “stuff.” My fight with my husband, the angry words I said at work, the judgement I placed on someone else’s choices. My temptation to start drinking again. I carry it all in with me and I set it down at the foot of the cross.

Jesus looks at that big pile of tangled up, dirty junk and says: “Yes! I can turn this into something beautiful!”

I can do this anytime, not just at church. Because God does not live inside a building. He lives inside of your heart.

Jesus didn’t ask us to have it all together. And when we pretend like we do, when we put on “perfect church people” personas, we are robbing Him of what He came to do. To help us. To carry our burdens. To comfort and love us. To SAVE us.  More importantly, we are conveying the message that Jesus doesn’t work for the people who are broken, messed up, and lost.

And if not for those people, if not for US, then who did He come to save?